A long time

It's been a long time since I've posted...and a long start to the new year! I was doing so well with cleaning and organizing and all, then WHAM.........I feel like I got hit by a mack-truck. Two weeks ago (today) my dad died....talk about knocking the wind out of my sails....it was so sudden. While he wasn't the healthiest individual (what do you expect after 60 years of smoking), to our knowledge there was nothing serious wrong. So here I sit with so many unanswered questions....feelings I don't know how to express...guilt, sadness, loneliness...... I was never really close to my dad, which now that he's gone I am having a hard time with. Was there something different I should have done? Someone who knew my father was talking to me a week or so ago and said it very nicely....my dad was never the cuddle, warm fuzzy kind of dad. Maybe that's why I never felt really close to him.

But now...where does that leave me? Strange to think that I no longer have either one of my parents here with me on Earth. It's just my brother and I.....both my parents were the last of their siblings left. But now my parents are together....where no one is sick and there is happiness. This February 10th would have been my parents 51st wedding anniversary....comforts me that they will be together again.

I do want to thank all my pals, especially those gals at the Shaker Box, who while physically were not here, they were with me in spirit. They will never know how their words of thoughts for me comforted me and made me feel as though things would be okay! Love you gals!